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I'll be the thunderstorm in your night sky
If you'll just be the moon
Churning my ocean tides

Or I'll be the moon
If you'll be the solid earth
I can orbit around

I'll be a jasmine flower
And scent the night with love for you
If you'll be the rain
To keep me alive

I'll be a seedling
And grow in your love
If you'll be my sun
And warm the soil for me

I'll be yours
If you'll be mine
And love me

I'll love you forever and after
If you'll just be here
When I'm so lonely

And I'll be the thunderstorm in your night sky
If you'll come
And be with me
I was in a weird, lonely mindspace last night.
So I wrote this. The first line has been crashing around in my brain for over a week.
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:iconwolf91:
Wolf91 Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2006
It is beauriful. I love it. I can really feal the emotion that you are placing into this; it surges through me. I write songs and stories as well but i have only had time to put one on so far. You might like some of my other stuff when i put it on their.
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:iconpanther-nora:
Panther-Nora Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2006
Thank you for your kind comment. I will go check your stuff out!
Reply
:iconwolf91:
Wolf91 Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2006
kay look forward to your advice ^-^
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:icongonejustlikebefore:
gonejustlikebefore Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2006  Professional Artist
perfectly written.
'I'll be a jasmine flower
And scent the night with love for you
If you'll be the rain
To keep me alive
'

excellent... :heart:
Reply
:iconpanther-nora:
Panther-Nora Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2006
Thank you so much. I'm glad you liked it.
Reply
:iconfat-lionell:
fat-lionell Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2005
you must have submited this whilst i was in hiding during the summer, but I really like it. I think it is a very beautiful piece of art.
Reply
:iconpanther-nora:
Panther-Nora Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2005
Aye, that I did. Thank you for liking it.
Reply
:iconfat-lionell:
fat-lionell Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2005
couldn't help me self.
Reply
:icontiger-queen:
tiger-queen Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2005
That's interesting, I like it. I had to read it a couple of times to get it! lol (I'm tired) but it's still good.
Reply
:iconpanther-nora:
Panther-Nora Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2005
Thank you for bothering to read even thought you are tired! :D
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:icontiger-queen:
tiger-queen Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2005
:D np :)
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:iconmezrastorm:
MezraStorm Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2005
^_^ this is really good
Reply
:iconpanther-nora:
Panther-Nora Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2005
Thank you. I'm glad you like it.
Reply
:iconmezrastorm:
MezraStorm Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2005
^_^ this is really good
Reply
:iconmichaelphelpsismine:
michaelphelpsismine Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2005
hey, this is reallygood, so are you worried aboutthe first line If you are, don't be because I like it. :!:
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:iconpanther-nora:
Panther-Nora Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2005
no. It's just the way I write poetry. one line keeps asking to be written, so I write it and everything else falls into place. sometimes the original line is left out of the completed work, and sometimes, like this time, it defines it.
Reply
:iconellierany:
ellierany Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2005  Hobbyist General Artist
Beautiful imagery in the first four stanzas - nice metaphors. Perhaps you could go back and put another one or two in after

I'll be yours
If you'll be mine
And love me

I'll love you forever and after
If you'll just be here
When I'm so lonely

before the final

And I'll be the thunderstorm in your night sky
If you'll come
And be with me

because they work really well.

But its good. Keep writing.
Reply
:iconpanther-nora:
Panther-Nora Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2005
Thank you. I was thinking of adding some more, but I couldnt think of any that didnt sound repetitive.
Reply
:iconmorganpony2:
morganpony2 Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2005
What a complete poem, the first line is wonderful and the whole thing just works, thanks for a really good read!
Reply
:iconpanther-nora:
Panther-Nora Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2005
Thank you. I'm glad you liked it.
Reply
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